Article - October 2011

Some of the best humorous phrases in modern office terminology

Working in a modern office can be a daunting prospect.  Not only are you under pressure from your own workload, but you also need to ensure you are a ‘team player’ and prepared to ‘think outside the box’.  Using your initiative is important in the workplace today whilst at the same time observing company policy, rules and regulations. 

However many of us will have worked in places where there are people who don’t wish to work by the rules, and no doubt you will recognise some of these characters and situations below:. 

Blame Storming

This is the process of a group scheduling a meeting with the sole purpose of blaming someone, or another department, for a failed project or missed deadline.

Career Limiting Move

Please try to avoid doing this one if you can as it means bad mouthing your boss while they are stood behind you, within earshot or unknowingly on the same conference call.  At best it will be awkward next time you interact with your boss, at worst you will be visiting the careers office without much hope of a decent reference.

Ohnosecond

The moment you realise you have just done something which cannot be undone, usually on a computer, such as deleting an important file or sending an inappropriate email to the wrong person by mistake, like your boss or a client.

Alpha Geek

This is an ‘endearing’ term for the person working in the office or workplace who has the most technical knowledge. 

Seagull Manager

A manager from another department, or possibly an outside consultant, who makes a flying visit to the office, creates a lot of noise and mess, before leaving.

Elephant in the cubicle

Usually a mascot, cuddly toy, comic strip or photograph on a work colleague’s desk, or pinned to the side of their monitor which is odd, unintentionally funny or offensive, yet no one else in the office has the nerve to mention it.

404

Someone who really doesn’t know what is going on around them in the office, or always struggles to find the thing they are looking for, either on their computer or documents and equipment from around the workspace. Comes from the World Wide Web error message “404 – the document you were looking for cannot be found”.

Percussive maintenance

This is simply the fine art of managing to get an electronic device, such as a computer monitor or photocopier, working again by giving it a whack or a kick.

So, no doubt you will have recognised some of the above situations or people from places you have worked in the past, and if not you have either worked somewhere really brilliant and I hope you are still there, or the person the phrase refers to is you……

This article was brought to you by Forsyth.  For more information about their business services or rented office space then either visit Forsyth.co.uk or contact them on 0800 731 5928.